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Some weeks seem like repeats, when world carmakers reap profits (Toyota, Honda, Nissan, now Mazda, and even formerly weak-performing Volkswagen), while American carmakers scramble just to survive (DaimlerChrysler lost money making Mercedes-Benzes, made less than 1% making Mopars, and made many remember AMC), the curious want to ask questions but don't want to suffer answers, and the clueless want the "high" gas prices to be fixed by the "high" politicians.  "Oh help us, ye 'honorable' elected hacks!"

http://tinyurl.com/jzh5n

It's time to get a clue.

Politicians can only fix elections; people choose what, where, when, how often, and how fast they drive, worldwide demand determines how much oil the people can consume or conserve, and it's OK for the entertainers and athletes to make unconscionable millions, but it's not OK for the moguls and managers to be ludicrously overpaid.  It's fun to buff up AMC grillz [sic] but it's foolish to buff up on AMC history and it's downright dumb to value non-AMC automotive smartz [sic].

Please give us a [brake] break.

It's like doing the same thing over and over again that didn't work the first (or fifteenth) time it was done: if it doesn't work the hundredth time, kick it, curse, and have another beer.

Buffy may need new teeth now.

Vamp up that tired AMC gear.

Headgear is a cool tool.

Call it cheese or tam. 

Wear it with pride.

Put it to use.

It's right.

A look at Lucerne by a VIP ("very important publication" or "very inept proofreader") last night proved that AMC isn't the only automotive pub where there might be too much drinking and too little thinking (a joke) these days.  The author of that piece probably doesn't drape his cargo pants halfway down his Anime-figure boxer shorts, doesn't buy Nine Inch Nails at Home Depot, and doesn't wonder if Trent Renzor was replaced by Schick Quattro (all the greybeards are now saying, "Huh?"), but he did blithely, bald-facedly, and idiotically write, "Buick hasn't put a V-8 in a passenger car since 1995."

Hello?  So Buick bought boxes of "Collector Edition" wheel centers and hood ornament medallions (not to mention cloisonné-on-leather key fobs in velvet bags) in 1996 for nothing --- and no LT-1s mastered the road?

He then wrote that Buick's portholes were derived from Duesenbergs (he likes the new square holes better than the ovoid of old), but Lucerne's window detail was Detroit at its worst.  The General should be ashamed, he said, to do such shabby work.

Hello?  I saw a Lucerne in a parking lot this morning.  It looks like a Passat by Toyota.  Like a BMW by Subaru.  Like a copy car that GM did rather well.

He's the expert.  People pay him big bucks.  They make time to read his stuff.  Maybe he should take up writing about American Motors.  He'd be sure to review a Donahue.  Rock on.       

Assignment: AMC History

Due Date: May 1st, 2006

Topic: Eighty years ago

Tell us what interesting and unusual thing happened way, way back then.

Do it and win new wheels:

http://www.tiswheels.com/

(click "Gallery" for red Magnum...)

http://tinyurl.com/z78sl

(click heels while it slowly loads...)

Yo!

PS - Frank, if this is your last weekend at home, enjoy it; then stay safe in Kandahar.

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